Online dating etiquette for men

Second, they sound like an exact description of the writer’s ex.

Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their ad and write a quick intro email. Some rookies assume that they must answer every email, even if it’s “thanks, but no thanks”. “Thanks but no thanks” can feel more hurtful than no reply.

“I asked my friend to describe me, and here’s what he wrote…” is a cop-out.

By writing this in your profile, you’re telling people that you’re not smart or self-aware enough to write it yourself.

Six emails in total – not each – is enough to know whether you want a date. Chances are that you won’t fancy each other, or that only one of you will fancy the other. It’s easy to lose faith when your first few dates don’t work out.

, eighteenth-century men and women courted each other by attending balls and writing letters.

A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Whether you’re a man or a woman, a photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date.

Not because they can’t get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Use photos and emails for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.

If you like someone, you have nothing to lose by letting them know.

If they are interested, they’ll be happy that you called.